Year three, and we’re going for the whole megillah*. Whole megillahs? I mean, we’re not planning to branch out beyond chapters 4 and 9 of Esther** so far as the Hebrew reading goes, but we’ll be reading a chapter of a megillah each week*** and tippling our way through it. That means reading Esther in October, which feels awkward but might mean that we actually read all the words correctly come Purim.****
“This is awesome. Vashti is such a badass. I’m Googling ‘Feminist Cocktails’,” announced Nuke, followed a moment later by, “Thank you, Buzzfeed.” But it turns out, surprise surprise, that when men write about feminist cocktails, they just write derivative versions of pedestrian drinks. The ultimate feminist cocktail is, of course, whatever the hell you want, but it’s hard to get good copy out of a recipe like that.
My lazy suggestion of chugging royal wine (1:7) was quickly shot down, since we needed something fit for a gala party. (My suggestion of “The Seven-Seven Eunuchs”(1:10) was also shot down, and Nuke would like you all to know that you’re welcome.)
“There’s something called a ‘Whiskey Rebellion’” noted Nuke. I studied the recipe carefully. “Hmm, if we replaced the Pimm’s with something girlie….” An examination of the liquor carts produced a peach theme, totally appropriate for a hottie like Vashti*****, with some bitterness at the patriarchy thrown in for good measure.
If you’d like to recreate Ahasuearus’s banquet, remember that “The rule for drinking was, ‘No restrictions’!” (1:8) Husband-despising upon consumption (1:17) is reported to be optional.
Recipe: Vashti’s Rebellion (1:12,16): stir together roughly equal parts bourbon and peach schnapps, mixing in slosh of Krupnik^ if you can find it (you can try a bit of dark honey if you can’t); add a dash of bitters and a few splashes of lemon. Garnish with peach slices; serve in a gold beaker (1:7) if you can find it, and a slightly awkward Kiddush cup if you can’t.^^
*The internet (and The Cantor) totally claim this is a thing that people say.
**I mean, I’m one and done. Nuke keeps murmuring about reading Kohelet (*nudge to The Cantor*)
***With occasional holiday/event breaks, since we’ll run a few weeks short.
****I mean, before the tippling contest.
*****”Vashti” is reportedly slang for a beautiful woman. It’s also slang for VD, if UrbanDictionary is to be believed.
^Does anyone else love the Anastasia books even more after learning about this liqueur?
^^C’mon, someone, please get the gag….